self-love

happy, happy monday!

like i mentioned in my last post, i spent my spring break at home and it was such a relaxing, much-needed week.  i needed some serious home time and spring break came around at the perfect time of the semester.  kind of excited, nervous, stressed out that i have a little over a month left of school… mainly confused as to how the time flew by that quickly?!

when i was in high school as a freshman, i took a basic general art class just to check off an elective class.  i never considered it something that i would have a passion for, but as my freshman year went on, i developed a love for creating art.  i’m not the best at it, but weirdly enough i am totally okay with that!  my junior year i took another art class and helped “rekindle the love” i had for art.  so, almost two years had passed and i missed being in the art zone that i would get in when i was in class.  i had the best art teacher, so that also made me miss art overall when i was in columbia.

i am in a public speaking class right now and we are preparing persuasive speeches, and we needed a visual aid for our speech to present to the class.  the combination of being home and missing art led me to decide to create my visual aid by creating an artwork piece that i could present to my class.  my speech is centered around persuading the class the impact a program placed in middle schools would have on how children grow up in such influential times of their life, like high school and college.  i specifically chose middle school because i see it as a time that these kids are young enough to not fully understand or experience instances that can happen when they grow older, but they are old enough to have a general understanding of the overall concept.

looking back on high school, i am beginning to understand how much emphasis, effort, and thought i put into how i thought others viewed me… rather than putting this time into growing and developing myself into a better person.  being a high school student is honestly weird.  it’s hard to think about what’s best for yourself.  it’s hard to have the confidence to be your own self.  however, what was easy was thinking about what was best for others to make them happy.

whether it’s a friendship that doesn’t 100% fulfill you, a relationship that doesn’t make you a better person, an aspect of your life that seems to be bringing you down rather than up… it’s hard to fully realize how it affects who you are and how you grow up.  no, high school is not the most influential part of our lives.  but, it’s a big deal at the time!  think about who you were as a freshman compared to how you were as a senior.  we’re constantly growing and changing and wearing different clothes and listening to different music.  sometimes i think about myself my first day of college compared to now and it’s scary how much i’ve grown since then! but, that’s aside from the point.

i see so much potential in people that i care about and people i barely know at all.  i love seeing others learn more about themselves, do something they love, and putting themselves at top priority.  it is rare.  even i don’t do any of those things majority of the time, but that’s so okay.  i was insecure in high school, honestly probably like every other student that walked those halls.  but, these negative aspects shaped who i am, and how i’m growing up.  and that i am thankful for.  but, i don’t want to wish any negative influence onto anyone.  going through a not-happy time shouldn’t get you to where you want to go.

i find so much enjoyment in seeing my friend’s parents and hometowns.  have you ever done or said something, then thought to yourself “wow i am turning into my mom/dad”?  i see parts of my parents and friends in me as i go through my daily life.  as i meet my friends’ parents or see where they grow up, i see these different pieces of their lives molded together to create who they are.  how people are raised truly impacts who they grow up to be.  this is partly why i would want this program offered at the middle school age.  it’s still young enough that they have a “innocent” look to them, but they’re also old enough that they can learn and comprehend different situations clearly.  so, they can mature and go through different friendships and relationships having some sort of understanding that they are important.

there is a lack of self-love.  we aren’t putting ourselves at top priority, instead putting the image we want to portray above ourselves and who we are.  and i am totally not speaking like i am not guilty, because i so am.  it makes us human!  i am a huge advocate for putting importance on first impressions.  but, i begin to put too much emphasis on the impression that i don’t put enough on who i am and strengthening my personality.  i want children to go through their radically changing childhood and young-adulthood with confidence.  i want them to be in touch with who they are and who they are growing to be.  i want them to know how important it is to realize how important they are, and not letting something or someone stunt this growth of discovering more about themselves.

so, back to the beginning about art and speeches, i created this piece that shows how teenagers feel when they don’t have the ability to do what they want to do because of what they feel expected to do.  like i mentioned before, it’s so easy to let other influences consume without us even realizing it.  it doesn’t always have to be a negative, harmful aspect.  it could be as simple as we remain stagnant in our growth, instead of maturing into a better version of us.  the result is our individual thoughts feel “trapped” in our head, instead of having the ability to be spoken and heard.  there are so many people that come into our lives, and it’s always for a reason.  it may not be a good thing that they’re in our lives, but whether it’s beneficial or not.. it forms who we are.  however, it’s important to accept these people and who they are, but still remain in tact with the person we would love to become.

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with love jenna copy

 

 

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